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For centuries, people have used the words “I love you” as a tool to amass armies and kingdoms.

These skills of manipulation have been passed down and are still being utilised to prey on unsuspecting people. Here are signs that you are being manipulated by your significant other.


Have you ever apologised for what you didn’t do? Do you constantly find yourself questioning your reality, thoughts, and words every single time you are with your significant other? You might just be experiencing gaslighting. Gaslighting is emotional abuse that eats away at one’s self-esteem. Manipulative people have honed this skill into an art form and will continually use it until you are heavily dependent and questioning your existence.


“Michael, if you love me, you would buy me that car”. Does this line sound familiar? Do you happen to be Micheal? Every time your partner needs you to do something you are not okay with, they question your love, threaten to leave, kill themself or make your life a living hell. Love based on conditions is not loved. And if your partner is comfortable making you do detrimental things, then they don’t have your best interest at heart. Learn to put yourself first. You are worth that much.

Constant emotional outburst 

Emotional outbursts come with the territory, but this natural endowment can be turned into a weapon. Sometimes, people sail through any argument or confrontation and come out on top when this weapon is used. For instance, any time you call them out for their wrongdoing, just at that moment you are about to table your matter, they conveniently burst into a pool of tears. Now, you spend the time figuring out how to make your partner stop crying. With this power, tables do turn. 

Silent treatment

Withdrawing or withholding one’s presence, support, or voice until you do exactly what they want is torture that no one deserves. The silent treatment is most times mixed with a lethal dose of passive aggressiveness which is characterized by your significant other giving physical cues like pouting, bursting into loud laughter, being sarcastic or anything just so you would ask “what is wrong?” with them and receive a gut-wrenching “I’m fine”. The main goal is for them not to come out directly and say what they feel. Very immature, don’t you think? After all, miscommunication ruins what could have been a great relationship.


Lying and blame game

One of the requirements of being an exceptional manipulator is being good at lying and passing the blame. A manipulator possesses the ability to think up stories on their feet and never take responsibility for their actions. If your partner ticks these boxes, we wish you strength because you are in a relationship with a manipulator.


At the beginning of a relationship, it is normal to want to spend all your time with your significant other. But it begins to become a problem when your world revolves around them such that you can’t function without them. If your partner makes you detach from all your friends and family, becomes god over your affairs, you need to run for your life, not waltz, RUN. Once you lose your choice, you are now in a faulty relationship, which in itself is highly toxic.

The traits mentioned above are expressed in both gender so ensure you note the red flags and stay clear. If you’re already in said situation, you can either run or stay and work it out but have collateral by getting yourself a therapist. 


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